Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
