I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
