dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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