I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
