dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
