I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
