I wish I could teleport
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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