come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
