At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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