the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
