just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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