Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
