he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he was CRYING into my vagina
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
