I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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