dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
