Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
