He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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