if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
