I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
