a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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