Apparently you make a good broom.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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