i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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