I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
