I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize