Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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