Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
