Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
