i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize