I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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