drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
