He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
