I'm so fucking centered right now
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
