maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
