You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
