soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
