At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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