My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
