So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize