Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
