its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
me + whiskey = a bad person
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
