thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
