Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
