I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
