please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
