we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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