member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
