I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize