boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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