we have officially lost it.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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