Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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