oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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