ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
