3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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