Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
our cab driver is having phone sex.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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