I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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