So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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