Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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