Who did Billy Mays play for?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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