This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
