I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We need to get me chipped asap
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
