Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
