She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
