She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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